You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 24-30) "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older" By Caroline Bologna Sep 30, 2022, 09:43 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. Those are my toddler's emotional support kitchen utensils. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! 8: We only go. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. I really don't know where this conversation is going. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Emptying my kids' pockets: rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, crushed crackers, rocks, hey! This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. BuzzFeed Staff . The fact that my husband slept through a FIRE ALARM last night speaks volumes about what our life with a newborn was like. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Part of HuffPost Parenting. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ya, school photographer. I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . Funny tweets that. Being so busy means its easy to forget about making memories with my kids I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all, Out of nowhere, my nephew just asked, Do you think Pavlov thought about feeding his dog every time he heard a bell ring? and now Im going to be haunted by this question. Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. Have you been living under a rock? I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, its really all in your mindsetThose ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning, While trying to convince my kid to eat broccoli I made up a story that somehow ended with the broccoli being yummy because its salty because it has snot in its nose and everyone knows that snot is salty.what Im saying is that parenting is not for the weak of stomach. "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Me: You mean red light, green light. It was a station wagon. Part of HuffPost Parenting. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. ". I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. Wishing you all a good weekend! After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Caroline Bologna. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" Helping in the kitchen this morning. Do you take Discover? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. I said bye but she walked straight in. Parenting funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. I have a teenager, a preteen, and a kindergartner. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I must be some type of ninja. Yep,. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Him: you know too much of my personal business. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. You gotta start a new life someplace else. by Ajani Bazile. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I showed the kid and he gasped. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. Welcome to parenthood. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Sorry Im late, the kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Week after week, the spouses of Twitter deliver some of the most hilarious and relatable quips about the ups and downs of married life. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 | Exclaim! You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. October 14 someone i taught how. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. #1 This will be funnier in 6 years after I'm through parenting teens LOL I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022 #2 Hahaha My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So far Ive used 467 paper towels. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I can't stop laughing. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. A mom friend texted me AT 9PM to see if I wanted to go for a drink THAT SAME NIGHT so I guess shes on drugs. Me, 5 hours before company arrives: Cool, calm, collectedMe, 15 minutes before company arrives: I NEED TO PAINT THE BASEBOARDS, I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives, There are two types of people in the modern age: those who are like, I downloaded an app for that and those who are like, Ive started churning my own butter., Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I dont want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized, I feel so bad for this generation of teenagers. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. "- my son, on a theologian's quest. Our drop-off time is 8:24. My son would not stop talking on the way home last night. State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. Lose at least one shoe. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. A. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! because it's not 13, 9 and 7. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. I always wished I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples! 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. Had I upset her? when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. A KAZOO. This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. Im just finding this out. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. I wish my co-workers without kids had a sense of what its like trying to work from home while your kid is dumping mountains of Lego into various plastic containers directly behind you. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone.
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